A few weeks ago whilst I was running a meeting of Yatta magazine, someone came up with the idea of publishing a photograph of the editors desk (aka, mine). This seemed like a good idea, so as soon as I got home that night I spent some time taking some photos of my desk with my phone. The plan was to copy them to my laptop, merge them all together, and then write some notes about the more interesting features, like the stack of old records behind the book stand.
This I could not do, as I found that I had lost the data connection cable for my phone, and I still have not been able to turn the Bluetooth on my laptop on. So I have decided to try a different approach, one which I hope will kill two birds with one stone, as it were.
I know that one of my major flaws when it comes to writing is not being able to write in a clear descriptive manner. So I hope that by taking some time out to describe my surroundings, I will get better at this, and you will get some idea of what my environment is like (I am a firm believer in nurture over nature).
I shall start with what is directly in front of me; my laptop. It is not a bad thing, I have not had it long, and I love it, mainly because I paid nothing for it (thank you UK taxpayers!). it sits upon a stand, so that the screen is nice and high as with a desktop, but the keyboard is at too steep an angle to allow typing. For this reason I have a rather snazzy wireless keyboard, and a good mouse to go with it. For many years I was against the idea of a wireless mouse, I always thought that I would lose it; but it is great! I can sit in bed and control the computer from afar!
Okay, I realise that this is getting a bit dull, so I shall try and spice it up a bit by telling you that I have three lamps. At the top-left corner of the desk, in the opposite corner to the laptop, is my lava lamp. Many is the time when writers block has been blown away by a few minutes contemplation of its green globulations. Next to it, sitting upon an (unopened) stack of blank CDs, is a small desk lamp that I suppose I stole from my old house. It’s okay though, the house is no longer there, only a massive hole in the ground remains.
In the bottom right corner sits my anglepoize lamp, one of the most useful things on the desk. Its head sits just above the keyboard, and I can see over the top of the arm to the screen beyond. It also makes a very good place to mount my microphone, for when I am chatting online and such.
Above the lamp (well, I say above, but I mean that it is further towards the back of the desk) is a book stand. Although it could be used for any type of book; I mostly use it for books about archaeology; I will always think of it as a stand for cookery books, as it came from my parent’s kitchen. Beyond the book stand is my entire record collection, numbering some four titles. I am sorry to say that unlike my main music collection, my collection of vinyl is not very eclectic; they are all by Pink Floyd. To the left of these is my laptop (see above).
On the left hand side of the desk, as well as the lava lamp, can be found my USB hub. This is a great thing, I have so much to plug into my laptop that being able to plug just one thing in is a really great thing, it must save me a good few seconds each time I replace my laptop upon its stand.
To the left of the desk is a small chest of draws where I keep a load of random shit, such as old cables, broken headphones, and a few copies of Private Eye. On to p of this sits my printer, now sadly defunct as I am out of black ink. There is also a large bottle of water, and a small glass. The bottle; unlike most of what I have said; has a slightly interesting story behind it...
Many months ago, I was required for reasons that matter not to you to collect all the pee for a period of twenty-four hours. To help me with this task I was given a large bottle. I was also given a second bottle just in case. In case of what I never quite found out, although I suspect that it was in case the first bottle became full. This was not likely to happen, as both the bottles where quite large, but none the less, the spare bottle has come in useful at last.
Well, I hope that I have managed to captivate your interest, mind you, if you are reading this (and I know for a fact that you are; those who do not will never know that I am wrong, so it is a moot point in any case) then you must have found all of the above at least slightly interesting, unless you were just reading it in the hope that it might get good, or because you could not believe that anyone could write so badly.
Please feel free to leave comments telling me that I am not a bad writer at all, as I need all the help that I can get convincing myself that this is the case.
Or you could read more at my site, the choice is yours...
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